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Demon Applications / Re: Ray_Marlow ;; Halaku ;; Cryptic - Demon Application
« Last post by Rudy on March 17, 2018, 01:57:59 PM »

That's not how apocalyptic form capabilities work. You went for a Halaku and took the most offensive Lore in the game line yet you don't know a very basic DtF system.

Demon is an exclusive race and Halaku is for advanced DtF players, definitely not for you.
Hybrid Applications / Re: [Elijah_Benjamin] [8th] [Caitiff] [Fostern]
« Last post by Rudy on March 17, 2018, 01:53:15 PM »
Denied. The story bring up more questions than it gives answers. Grammar is bad. This can't be accepted even as a 8th Generation Vampire. You're aimed too high.
Auctions / Re: [Business Auction] The Asylum
« Last post by Simon on March 17, 2018, 11:29:28 AM »
Silvio Frei Barone has won the auction. PM Rudy the business ID, name, type, market price and final bid.
Mage Applications / Re: Triss Holler | Arete 4 | Avatar Rating 4 | Virtual Adept
« Last post by Gaavia on March 16, 2018, 08:34:49 PM »
Okay, so after reading your reply I made major changes to the story, made it more realistic, she's 10 years older than she was previously. I looked over everything you said,  I changed the questions accordingly and now i'm going to answer some questions that you've asked.

Stratos is going to be a background, a familiar companion; a data beast, an info elemental. Nothing much to it, the elemental inserted itself into one of her AI program's she has been creating and thats how he came to be.

When it comes to the story, there's a few things that needs to be understanded, the format of the story is meant to be this way, thats why theres alot of spoilers, each little spoiler is a little file that you find. Not every single detail is included because of the route I took to write this story, it includes major events and important things. This isn't meant to show literally everything. Her avatar doesn't show itself for multiple reasons, to her the avatar doesn't a physical form, it doesn't have a 'voice' per se, information is what she believes the avatar is, every little bit of her avatar comes to her as information, the power of the avatar itself is displayed in one of her seekings, not only is she brought PHYSICALLY somewhere else but she's brought into the grid itself, she's given an icon and she's quite literally transported into a corrupted web which is no easy task to begin with.

If theres anything else that needs to be changed let me know but I think for the most part this should be complete.
Character Profiles / Re: Jacques Philippe Toulouse Moreau [WIP]
« Last post by Hal on March 16, 2018, 07:36:38 PM »
Character Profiles / Re: Jacques Philippe Toulouse Moreau [WIP]
« Last post by $hadow on March 16, 2018, 07:32:07 PM »
Mage Applications / Re: Damon Grey | Arete 3 | Avatar Rating 4 | Order of Hermes
« Last post by Iron on March 16, 2018, 06:55:17 PM »
The story is fixed more or less to my liking. I'd add a bit more about how he obtained his powers through training.

As long as you are confident enough to RP such a character in-game I am ok with it.

Wait for Diplo's response or Rudy's.
Character Profiles / Re: Jacques Philippe Toulouse Moreau [WIP]
« Last post by Hades on March 16, 2018, 05:35:16 PM »
Character Profiles / Re: Jacques Philippe Toulouse Moreau [WIP]
« Last post by K3im4 on March 16, 2018, 05:01:20 PM »

New Update
Character Sheet was added.

Mage Applications / Re: Triss Holler | Arete 4 | Avatar Rating 4 | Virtual Adept
« Last post by Iron on March 16, 2018, 04:37:34 PM »
Please read this carefully.

IC Questions

IC question 3, contradicts itself
IC question 4, no mention of the different essences.
ic question 6, incorrect
ic question7, could you give me an example of what your mage's drive/purpose be if it were created?
ic question 9, you contradict yourself again

a little technicallity, a mage arete 4 cant be 21 years old unless he/she is exceptional. I suggest going towards late twenties aleast.

You discard instuments when you apply for a higher level arete. Since this is a new character there is no need to write that down.

the first part of the story doesn't make sense. The characters parents need to be super rich to be able to pull anything there off. If the child was provided everything from them at that age, then by 1988 the internet was not invented to the public yet, unless the parents were involved in its creation.
To add to that, the character can't be based off a famous entity or atleast be the maker of one of the first big viruses at the age of 10 years old. Again, it does not make sense.

Forums weren't a thing until atleast 1997 unless it was a local network which only existed for libraries, universties and so on. Gaining money online at the time was unimaginable unless the child at the age of 10 went outside to meet strangers and conduct deals with them.

Again, your story can be a child prodogy if only it was written with realisim. A child cant run off with a heavy computer on her own. Especially at the age 14, leaving the house on her own does not make too much sense.

Where does Stratos come from? How does he take in the paradox if its a AI? The AI isn't your avatar as you say so you need to answer these questions in your story.

Here are a few tips to recreate your story.
- If the story is in first person view, the charcater would not refer to the usual terms. A VA wouldn't divid his powers into spheres.
- Less [ spoiler ] tags please!
- Make it realistic. Most mages are not exceptional people until they get their powers, and even then, they aren't.
- VAs can be snotty brats which is fine, but think if what you are writting would probably need a background for it or if it makes sense?
- Read about the creation of the internet abit, see when things popped up like forums, social media and such.
ooc questions

Question 3 and 4, mages are already technically being hunted down. Try to think realistically if it can happen or not and why it would happen.

Question 6, it iss pretty lightly answered. Doesn't cover everything that is asked.

I am "tearing" into this because you are requesting a very high mage character and it feels like its your first one.

I want you to reanswer from what I wrote, and rewrite your story corresponding to the comments. 
Can you also list with your characters what race they were?

I feel like this is pretty unrealistic, therefore an avatar rating of 4 isn't acceptable for such a thing, and arete level 4 isn't as well.
This is nothing personal, but for a high leveled character we are looking for more realisim.

Feel free to ask me anything around this application.
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