Author Topic: Atlas.  (Read 1651 times)

Offline Dielan

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Atlas.
« on: April 12, 2016, 05:59:11 PM »






April 1991;

The chilling breeze encompassed the area, blowing the white specks through the air as they slowly found their way onto his shoulders, dissipating and melting into the cloth. Warm streams trailed down his face, traveling under his chin and collecting in droplets before falling onto his forearms, which maneuvered their way under the small, warm, still body that was being supported by being leaned against his thighs. The lower segments of his legs were pressed against the cold white layers of snow, bent back as he rested on his knees.

Please. Please don't do this, don't go. Please.

His words were but spurts of shaky breaths and emotion, barely recognizable as the knot in his throat and chest grew larger and larger. His face was red, covered in melted snow and tears. His hands were clenched onto the small girl's shoulders. Chilling thoughts rushed through his head as he trembled, staring at her, frozen in fear.

It hurt.

Please. PLEASE...
I need you. I need you both, you can't leave me too.


It ran in the family.

I can't do this without you.

His heart skipped three beats after every word, each thump like a rabid psychopath beating its way out of his chest with a club.

I-I know I haven't been there, I know and I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Her gaze slowly drove over to him, their eyes meeting. She looked so confused.

I'm here now. I'm here and I'll never leave you again, okay? Daddy's here. Every- He inhaled a sharp breath as he blinked another avalanche of tears from his vision. Everything's gonna be okay.

He shakily took his grasp from her shoulder, using his fingers to push the hair out of her face, holding his palm against the side of her face.

Hey, just keep looking at me, okay? Nothing bad's gonna happen. I-I promise.

She slowly opened her mouth, keeping her gaze glued to his eyes, speaking weakly.

Did we get to the flower fields?

He broke down. He couldn't keep himself from balling. It hurt so much.

Y-..Yeah, we made it.... They're beautiful. Grandma's here too.

She gave him a smile for a moment before speaking again.

It's dark... is it night time..?

His body shuddered at the question, his jaw shook and his teeth clenched as he uttered out a response.

..Y-yeah.. it's getting pretty late.

She stayed silent for a moment, looking up at him; her gaze just as confused and heart-wrenching.

Daddy..?

Y-yeah, daddy's here. What is it?

I love you a lot.

His heart cracked in two, the two sides shattering and splintering into the sides of his chest.

It hurt so badly.

He was barely able to form words.

I love you too... Daddy loves you too.

Her eyelids slowly fell over her eyes, draping over the glints of light in her eyes. The smile slowly faded from her expression, her head falling against his chest.

No..no no no no no, no please, God, no.

He shrugged his elbow, pushing her head lightly, only for it to fall back against his chest.

The streams continued down his cheeks, his eyes widened, his entire body shaking and trembling. His stomach turned, doing full 360s. The sharp breaths and panicked exhales manifested as steam drifting from his mouth and nose.

Miyuki? Miyuki, don't do this. Please. Come back, please. I need you.

It was so god damn painful.

Please, Naomi, I need you. I can't do this alone. I need you both. Don't leave me. Please.

Specks of snow continued to fall, placing themselves on his back as he curved it downwards, towering over Miyuki, acting as shelter from the cold flecks of white. He felt unsteady, his body teetered involuntarily. He felt like he'd fall along her side and die with her. He had no reason not to. He accepted this fate, closing his eyes as he falls to his side in slow motion, seeing visions of Naomi laid in bed, lifeless and motionless. He looked down. He was holding a child, his child. She was just a baby. Her life was taken too soon, and it was his fault. He was empty, the pain was gone. He felt nothing. Time resumed its normal pace as his body hit the ground, making a crunching sound as he sunk into the snow. He let the chilling breeze consume him. He was done. He'd given up, and was ready for the cold, bony fingers of the reaper to take hold.

A voice was heard from the distance, getting closer and closer.

Tomoya?! Tomoya, are you okay?! What happened?!

However, the sound faded. Everything went dark, and silent. Nothing mattered anymore, and this life was no longer worth living.




Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
That very recognizable beeping noise was all that he heard as he began regaining consciousness. It was his heartrate, he was in a hospital. Fumes of medicine traveled through his nostrils. Was it just a comatose dream? It must've been. There's no way Miyuki could've been taken away from him. Nothing could do that. He made a promise that he'd always be with her, and he intended to stick to his word. Nonetheless, he was concerned. He needed to know where she was, who was taking care of her, and if she was okay. It's all that mattered.

There were no doctors or nurses in the room. He leaned up, getting himself into a sitting position as he took the cannula from his nostrils, unhooking it from around his ears; placing it on the table next to him. He also ripped off the pads that were attached to him, monitoring his vitals.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

He slid off the bed, walking towards the door; exiting the room. He looked around for a moment, confused and worried. Why was he here? What happened? He felt over himself, checking for injuries. He didn't find any. He slowly paced down the halls, looking for somebody that could assist him. His phone wasn't on him, or else he'd have called his dad, or Jizou. None of his personals were on him, most likely because he was changed into patient robes.

The more steps he took, the worse the sinking feeling in his gut got. What if it wasn't in his head? His quickly dismissed the thought.

A nurse eventually spotted him as she turned the corner into the hallway he was in. She gave him a quizzical look before speaking.

What's your name? Why're you wondering around?

It took him a moment to gather his thoughts.

I uhm.. I'm Tomoya Okazaki. I don't know why I'm here, I just want to know where my daughter is.

The nurse's face drained of color, her expression changing to a worried, sympathetic, and sad one. She choked up on her words for a moment.

Ou-.. uh-.. Mr. Okazaki, you should be resting.

Tomoya's brow narrowed, his eyes widened as the sinking feeling worsened again, the thoughts returning. Only one phrase came to mind.

Where is she?

Although it was a question, it sounded much more like a statement. Like a demand.

The nurse stuttered again.

M-..Mr. Okazaki, plea-

He cut her off.

Where is my daughter?!

His voice echoed throughout the halls as he shouted, his eyes darting all around the hallway in a frightful manner. He was so scared.

Mr. Okazaki, calm down. Please return to your ro-

What happened to her?! Why won't you tell me?! Where the fuck is Miyuki?!

You could hear his heart breaking in his voice. His voice became hoarse, and started cracking in every word. The oh-so-familiar knot returned in his throat. It was too big to swallow. Tears began collecting in his eyes.

Footsteps were heard from both directions, in front of and behind Tomoya. People were rushing towards them. In front of him, behind the nurse, a bleached-blonde-haired guy came sliding across the hallway as he tried to stop himself after spotting Tomoya. His shoes slid on the slick tiles of the hospital, making a screeching sound, as if his feet were tires. It was Jizou. He was sweating, his face clearly drained of color as well. He looked so sad.

Tomoya..

Tomoya cut him off before he could finish.

Where is she, Jizou? Where's my daughter? Where's Miyuki?

Tomoya stared at him desperately. His pupils were constricted to as small a shape as they could get. Sweat and tears streamed down Tomoya's face, his body was trembling once again. He felt the familiar feeling of unease. His knees barely kept him on his feet.

T-.. Tomoya.. I'm sorry..

Where.. is.. she..?

Jizou also broke into tears. His already shrill voice cracking more as he spoke.

She's gone, Tomoya.

Tomoya knew what he meant, but didn't accept it. He was willing to think of any way that could mean anything other than what it obviously did.

Gone where? Where is she, Jizou? She's safe, right? She has someone taking care of her?

Jizou couldn't answer. He gritted his teeth as he stared at Tomoya, sucking in through said gritted teeth as he cried. The knot he also had in his throat was so big it was nearly visible.

A man's voice came from behind Tomoya, a cold hand being placed on his shoulder as the man spoke. Tomoya quickly shoved his shoulder away, turning towards the man in a very defensive way. The man didn't react, he simply looked at Tomoya with an extremely sunken, and sad facial expression as he spoke.

Mr. Okazaki, I'm sorry.. your daughter passed away.

Tomoya held his gaze on the man for a few moments, and in those moments, everything stood still. Everything went black except for himself and the man. After those few moments, everything came tumbling back into motion. His knees gave out. He fell to the floor, nobody reacting fast enough to catch him. A loud thud was heard as he hit the tiles. He didn't bother to try to catch himself.

Tomoya!

Jizou rushed to his side, collapsing to his knees as he got next to him, placing his hand on Tomoya's shoulder.

Jizou began to speak, but Tomoya didn't hear him. All noise began to fade away, and he just stared off into nothing. His daughter was dead. It wasn't a dream. His daughter was dead and there's nothing he could do about it. Chills were running up and down Tomoya's body, making all of his hair stand on end. They didn't stop, either. It was a continuous feeling of horror.

The doctor, nurses, and Jizou all got Tomoya back to his room, still speaking unintelligible gibberish. Tomoya didn't move. He didn't speak. He didn't think. The world came crashing down on top of him, impaling him with every stray shard that got loose, being crushed by everything the universe had thrown at him. Why go on? What does he have left anymore?




He didn't rest. He was supposed to, but he didn't. He couldn't. He just stared up at the ceiling, his mind devoid of thought. His body devoid of emotion. Devoid of feeling.

Well, most feeling.

Pain. There was still pain. Pain was the constant. There was a consistent overwhelming chilling feeling, like he was submerged in freezing cold water. On top of that, there were these occasional waves. Tsunamis of agony.

The silence was broken as a familiar voice cut through the veil.

Tomoya..?

He caught Tomoya's attention. It was probably one of the only voices that could've.

He slowly turned his head, the pooled up tears he hadn't even realized he'd cried fell from the creases in his eyes over his cheeks and onto his pillow.

...Dad?

Everybody looked broken. Every single person he looked at, they were devastated. He's sure if he had looked in the mirror, he'd have looked much worse than all of them either way.

Minoru was at a loss for words, he had no idea what to say. Nobody could blame him, either. Could you imagine having to console your son whose daughter, your grand daughter, just passed away?

His eyes traveled around the room, eventually speaking as he found the words to say.

I-..I.. He sighed. I'm so sorry. His voice was so shaky.

I'm so sorry, Tomoya. I-.. a-.. are you okay?

He wasn't in the shape to make any sort of attempt at communication.

T-.. Tomoya, you.. His eyes said more than his words ever could have. He was so hurt.

The doctor from before approached the two, standing next to Minoru, gently placing his hand on his shoulder. Tomoya hadn't noticed, but there was a whole group of people in the corner. Most of them consisted of family.

Mr. Okazaki.. He peered down at Minoru, then back up at Tomoya. Tomoya. You.. had a heart attack. You were clinically dead for over an hour.. We suspect it was caused by the emotional trauma you were experiencing at the time.

Tomoya just stared at the doctor as he explained the situation, his gaze eventually traveling over towards the group in the corner. Naomi's parents were there, so was Tomoya's grandmother, and Jizou. There was also a nurse, but Tomoya didn't recognize her.

Tomoya's gaze locked onto Naomi's mother. The two looked so much alike. Three, actually. Naomi looked very similar to her mother, and Miyuki was a spitting image of Naomi.

The thoughts brought on another tsunami. More tears began escaping the corners of Tomoya's eyes, maneuvering around Tomoya's nose and lips until they eventually fell from his face. Naomi's mother's body began to quiver, she turned to seek comfort from Naomi's father, which he gave her, his sad, broken gaze finding it's way to Tomoya's.

Will he be okay..?

The doctor let out a hushed breath.

I'm.. not sure. With the recent... events, and the amount of traumatic stress they brought with them.. Tomoya could undergo another attack just like this one at any given time.. You said he had just started recovering from the previous incident, and this piled on top of that...

Everyone in the room was looking at him with desperation and horror in their eyes.

He let out another sigh.

All I'm saying is we can't be too sure. You will have to keep a close eye on him and monitor his behavior. Give him whatever he needs. If he asks for food, bring him food. If he needs help with something, help him. You will be his only moral support, so when he needs space, give him space; when he needs comfort, comfort him.

He said all of that like Tomoya wasn't even there.

When can he go home?

Naomi's old man rarely showed his emotions, but he was clearly in a state of vulnerability.

Whenever he's ready.. just, like I said.. Keep an eye on him.

..Thank you, doctor.

Tomoya had lost interest at this point, he closed his eyes. He felt so bad.

He was in a room of loved ones, people that cared about him, yet he felt more alone than he ever had before.

They were all he could think about. No matter how hard he tried to distract himself, to shun the thoughts, they just kept returning.

What pained him most wasn't the fact that they were gone, it was the fact that he wasn't able to stop it.

It hurt so bad.









November 1986;

A warm breeze danced through the air, carrying the scent of the lake towards the duo on the sand. Naomi tightened her grip on Tomoya's hand, pulling him towards herself as she rested against his side; looking up at him with that warm, innocent smile.

...What should her name be?

Tomoya returned the smile, resting his head against the top of hers. A warm aroma of cinnamon arose from her hair, Tomoya's body becoming the least tense as it could've been as he smelled it.

Hm..

I want it to have a nice meaning.

Her voice was so comforting. So silky and soothing.

Like what?

Tomoya couldn't help but stare down at her as she thought. She was so beautiful, no matter what she was doing.

I'm not sure... Something that could describe a miracle like her.

She was so excited for it. Tomoya was too.

They were a family.

Beautiful?

More than just beautiful.

Hm..

Something that could describe her. Tomoya always felt a mix of emotions when thinking of her. All were good, but forming them into words was sometimes a challenge. The feelings were so.. Pure. So warm and nice.

Tomoya's eyebrows raised, his head lifting off of Naomi's as he peered down at her. She returned the gaze, locking eyes with him.

Got something?

Tomoya thought over it for another moment.

Happiness.

She pondered he word for a moment, a grin enveloping her face slowly.

Yes.

Noami returned her head to his shoulder, letting out a sigh.

So.. Beautiful happiness?

She lightly nodded her head, not bothering to move it from his shoulder.

He thought over the words for moment, shuffling through his mental library of names, trying to find a name that held said meanings.

Miyuki?

Miyuki Okazaki.. She closed her eyes, letting a slow breath escape her nose. Yes. I like it.

She slid her hand under Tomoya's again, gripping onto his fingers as tomoya closed his hand on hers, closing his eyes as he leaned his head against hers once more.








December 1991;

Nine-one-one emergency.

..I need an ambulance.

What's your emergency?

..There's been a suicide.

Who's the victim?

.
.
.

I am.



Several minutes later;

Tomoya laid on the floor, his back against the wall of his old apartment. The apartment building had been abandoned after the business that ran it went bankrupt. Tomoya lived in a relatively nice neighborhood, and his apartment was on the second floor; so it wasn't really touched by any hoodlums or vandals.

The phone laid on the ground next to Tomoya, and a cheap pistol rested in his right hand.

He was a mess.

His hair was unkempt and all over the place, and patchy stubble littered his worn, tormented face. His cheeks and areas around eyes were damp, and there were bags under his eyes.

He looked terrible.

Eventually, he slowly raised his hand that had the weapon in it. His hands were shaky, but he knew what he was doing. He placed the gun in his mouth, tilting it up. He slowly let his eyes drift to the left, where a framed picture of his family stood on the wooden floor. His jaw quivered before he closed his eyes, slowly pulling the safety of the gun down. He very shakily and slowly begun to pull the trigger, inching it closer and closer to the handle of the gun.

Everything went silent.

Tomoya was left with his thoughts, images and memories of his family and friends racing through his head. Before he knew it..

B A N G.


A horrible ringing echoed throughout Tomoya's ears. He opened his eyes, looking around for a moment before spotting an individual standing before him. The individual had kicked the gun from his hand right before he pulled the trigger. Before he could have time to make out who it was, they reached down and forcefully grabbed Tomoya by the collar of his shirt, forcing him to his feet and against the wall. Tomoya got a good look at the figure now that they were eye-level.

What the hell is wrong with you?!

It was Jizou.

Tomoya stared at him with a confused, lost look.

I don't care what kind of shit you're going through, you're not just gonna fucking off yourself!

Jizou sent a jab to Tomoya's gut.

Whether or not he intended to knock some sense into Tomoya by doing so, one thing's for sure; it woke him up.

Look at yourself, dammit! What the fuck is wrong with you?! How could you let yourse-

Tomoya cut him off with the slamming of his own head into Jizou's, causing him to stumble back.

Tomoya spoke thus with a shaky, broken voice;

You.. have no idea.. what I've gone through..

You don't have the fucking RIGHT to tell me what to do.


Jizou groaned angrily through his teeth as he charged at Tomoya, sending a right hook to his face and pinning him against the wall again.

You're right, I don't know what you're going through. But what I do know is that you're acting like it's the end of the fucking world!

THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS!

Tomoya pushed him off, tackling Jizou to the ground and getting on top of him.

They were all I fucking had! And they're gone!

The two struggled on the ground, jabs connecting and being blocked her and there, the two grappling with each others arms.

Yeah fucking right! You have dozens of people that love you, you fucking moron! You have more people that care about you than most people would ever even dream of having!

Jizou got a good hit on Tomoya, sending him off from on top of him. The two stared each other down for a while.

Why should I bother getting 'better'? It's not gonna fucking change anything. The two people I cared about the most are fucking gone.

You can get through this, you jus-

MY WIFE. AND DAUGHTER. ARE GONE. Do you not understand?!

Tomoy-

No, Jizou! I can't get through this! This is it for me! I'm fucking dead inside, and I just want it to be over. Just let me fucking end this.

You can bitch and moan all you fucking want, Tomoya; but I'm not letting you kill yourself. I don't care if I have to strap you to a bed and have a therapist come to your room every morning. You're. Getting. Through this.

Fine.

Tomoya was nearest to the door. He rushed to it, basically running through it; the old hinges breaking right off. He ran up the stairs to the fourth floor, the highest, and climbed up on top of the railing, peering behind himself at Jizou as he chased Tomoya.

DON'T YOU FUCKING DO IT, YOU COWARD.

I told you, Jizou. It's not worth it... I hope you never have to know what it's like.

He jumped.

Tomoya heard Jizou whaling from the fourth floor as he plummeted to the pavement.

The sirens of police cars and ambulances were heard rushing to the apartment building, which were just about the last things Tomoya heard before he blacked out.









October 1995;

P-... please... I... I'll do anything.. j-.. just.. just please... s-.. stop..

It's voice shook, just as did most of it's body. It was soaking wet, and it's skin was an irritated red.

It pulled on the chains binding it's hands and feet together, shaking around in the chair that was bolted to the ground.

PLEASE!!

It was broken.

Will you just shut up?

It looked at Tomoya with an expression wrought with horror and worry.

I... I-I-I.. I just.. I j-just wanna go home..

Tomoya stood up from the recliner, pushing the bottom bit of it back into the rest of the chair. He made his way over to it, grabbing the bottle as he made his way there.

He grabbed onto it's face, prying it's left eye open and hovering the bottle over it, tilting it just enough to the point where the liquid almost begun spilling out.

Then just tell me what I want to know. Simple as that.

I-.. I can't...

Tomoya sighed, tilting his head a bit.

And... why's that, again?

B- Because.. they... they'll kill me..

Tomoya looked at it with an expression clearly conveying contempt towards it.

And you think I'll do... - what, exactly? - if you don't tell me?

It was shaking an awful lot.

Way I see it, you have two options.

You either
A. Tell me where your pitiful little gang hangs out, and take your chances with them.

Orrrrr B. You don't tell me, and I blow your brains out.


It didn't seem to have much to say.

Tomoya sighed, tipping the bottle over a bit more, letting a few droplets of the water fall onto it's eye.

Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

It screamed in agony, whaling pleas out that were heard by nobody.

Nobody but Tomoya.

Well?

OKAY, OKAY. JUST, PLEASE. PLEASE STOP.

Good boy.

Tomoya let go of it's face.

It's head begun to hang down towards it's lap. It was gasping for air.

Eventually, it spoke.

We.... th- they... have a building... an abandoned storage complex... it's just on the outskirts of town..

Tomoya let out a breath, pacing over to the table and grasping onto the handgun that laid there.

He paced over to it, pressing the barrel of the gun against it's head.

As he paced over, it raised it's head with a look of joy and relief, but that quickly turned to the previous one of horror.

It was terrified.

Y-y-.. you said you'd let me live!!

Tomoya shrugged.

I lied.

B A N G.

As soon as the bullet flew through it's head, it quickly burned to a pile of ashes which rested in the chair.

Tomoya paced out of the room, grabbing his things before leaving.




The frigid breeze whistled through the air as Tomoya stood before the building, stoically looking up at it's multiple stories.

...Hmph.

He began to pace up to the entrance.


In the third story, inside an office-like room;

What the FUCK is that?!

How should I know?!

You feel it too, right?!

Yeah, and I don't fucking like it!

Shut the fuck up, both of you.

They did so, staring at the more well-dressed one that sat in a chair across the room.

Just.. alert everybody. Tell them to prepare for a fight.

They stormed out of the room, doing exactly that.




Down on the first floor;

Tomoya reloaded the handgun that he held in his left hand, and sawed-off shotgun he held in his right.

A combination of ash and gunpowder floated around the room in the form of a fine dust.

As Tomoya was reloaded his weapons, he heard something cowering in the corner, taking in quick inhales and letting out just as quick exhales.

Tomoya could hear it's jaw shaking from here.

He took one glance over into the corner, where he saw it shaking in a curled up sitting position in the corner of the room.

He turned back to his weapons, cleaning them off after reloading them.

He then, without even looking, extended his left arm, taking aim at it and pulling the trigger.

After the echoing of the 'bang' stopped, all that was heard was the sizzling sound of it's flesh burning to ash until it went silent again.

Tomoya moved on, going to the next floor.

.
.
.

And the next.

And the next.

Until he had wiped out everything that resides in all the floors, in all the rooms. Except for one on the fourth floor.

He stopped before opening the door, once again reloading his weapons and making sure everything else was dead.

He proceeded through the doors, immediately turning to his right where the finely dressed one stood in the corner of the room, seemingly expecting Tomoya.

...Greetings.

Tomoya didn't bother conversing with it.

He extended his hand, and it was forced against the wall.

It swallowed once, taking in a deep breath. It was clearly worried.

Why don't we just... talk this out?

No.

Suddenly, the other two sprung from behind Tomoya, pouncing up towards him.

Tomoya quickly turned around as they did so, squeezing the trigger of both firearms as he quickly took aim. The one on the left got a round lodged deeply into it's brain, while the one on the right got his head completely taken off by the slug.

Regardless, they both ashed.

The finely dressed one sent a hard jab to Tomoya's spine, which hurt like a bitch.

However, Tomoya regenerated the wound quite quickly.

He turned around, placing the barrel of the shotgun against it's head, which stopped the charge it was in the middle of doing.

It stared up at the firearm as it rested against it's forehead, seemingly petrified.

Nice try. You almost had me.

B A N G.

...Almost.




Tomoya paced out of the front door, everything packed up inside the backpack that rested on his back. He approached his car, hopping in before driving off to the nearest Steak 'n Shake. He bought a single vanilla milkshake before pacing back out to his car, driving up onto a rather large hill that had a cliff which overlooked the city, and more particularly, the abandoned storage building.

Tomoya got out of his car, leaning against the hood.

He pulled a detonator from his pocket, slurping on the straw of the shake as he nonchalantly pressed the button.

A huge explosion brought down the entire building, turning it into a giant fireball before it eventually died down, proceeding to burn the rest of the structure to the ground.

Tomoya watched the scene unfold as police and EMS arrived to the building, staying to watch until finishing his milkshake.

He shook the cup, checking to see if there was anything left.

There wasn't.

Happy birthday... me.

He let out a long sigh after saying that.

Afterwards, he paced over to the nearest trash bin, tossing the cup into it.

He then got into his car and sped off, heading back home.
« Last Edit: July 31, 2016, 07:36:23 AM by Dielan »
Donovan Callahan - Sexiest Vampire N/A.
Samuel Barker - Sexiest Demon N/A.
Zachariah Novak - Sexiest Werewolf N/A.
Jesse Nascimento - Sexiest Samsa N/A.


give me the dick

Offline ElijahB

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Re: Atlas.
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2016, 06:42:48 PM »

Offline Dielan

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Re: Atlas.
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2016, 06:44:14 PM »

If we're speaking in general, then yeah he's died a lot of times

But this one time? I duuuunnooooooooooooooooo
Donovan Callahan - Sexiest Vampire N/A.
Samuel Barker - Sexiest Demon N/A.
Zachariah Novak - Sexiest Werewolf N/A.
Jesse Nascimento - Sexiest Samsa N/A.


give me the dick

Offline DeletedUser2

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Re: Atlas.
« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2016, 11:12:56 PM »
Great story. Not sure why the title is what it is, but hey.
I say 'story' because I know you'll write more - and it'll be good.

Offline Dielan

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Re: Atlas.
« Reply #4 on: April 12, 2016, 11:23:11 PM »
Great story. Not sure why the title is what it is, but hey.
I say 'story' because I know you'll write more - and it'll be good.
Spoiler for Hidden:

Atlas was the Titan god of endurance and astronomy, condemned to hold up the sky for eternity
Thank you, I try. And yeah, I'll be continuing it.
Donovan Callahan - Sexiest Vampire N/A.
Samuel Barker - Sexiest Demon N/A.
Zachariah Novak - Sexiest Werewolf N/A.
Jesse Nascimento - Sexiest Samsa N/A.


give me the dick

Offline Dielan

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Re: Atlas.
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2016, 12:54:36 AM »
I added some more.
Donovan Callahan - Sexiest Vampire N/A.
Samuel Barker - Sexiest Demon N/A.
Zachariah Novak - Sexiest Werewolf N/A.
Jesse Nascimento - Sexiest Samsa N/A.


give me the dick

Offline Mike_Stevensons

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Re: Atlas.
« Reply #6 on: April 13, 2016, 07:11:40 PM »
Daaamn son

Offline Dielan

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Re: Atlas.
« Reply #7 on: April 14, 2016, 05:05:03 AM »
I added some more. I also added some music that I think fits the story and helps set the tone, I highly recommend you listen to it whilst you read.

Feedback is greatly appreciated. I'm enjoying writing this, and I want to know if it's as enjoyable to read as it is to write.

Daaamn son
Spoiler for Hidden:

EDIT: Oh, and I also added some more exposition to the first part of the story, so if you already read that, I recommend you go back and reread it.
« Last Edit: April 14, 2016, 05:06:39 AM by Dielan »
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Offline Dielan

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Re: Atlas.
« Reply #8 on: April 14, 2016, 06:04:15 PM »
Added more. I once again highly suggest listening to the music provided when reading.
Donovan Callahan - Sexiest Vampire N/A.
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give me the dick

Offline Dielan

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Re: Atlas.
« Reply #9 on: June 26, 2016, 12:19:53 AM »
Updated again, finally.
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give me the dick

Offline Makonius

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Re: Atlas.
« Reply #10 on: June 26, 2016, 12:38:55 AM »
Great descriptive and coherent plot had me like




Offline Dielan

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Re: Atlas.
« Reply #11 on: June 26, 2016, 12:42:00 AM »
Great descriptive and coherent plot had me like


Thanks babe <3
Donovan Callahan - Sexiest Vampire N/A.
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Zachariah Novak - Sexiest Werewolf N/A.
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give me the dick

Offline Dielan

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Re: Atlas.
« Reply #12 on: July 01, 2016, 08:38:43 AM »
New chapter has been added.
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Offline Twisted

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Re: Atlas.
« Reply #13 on: July 11, 2016, 12:24:03 AM »
Well, great way in explaining, i like how you optimized it. gj n keep going.



Offline Dielan

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Re: Atlas.
« Reply #14 on: July 11, 2016, 01:01:51 AM »
Well, great way in explaining, i like how you optimized it. gj n keep going.
Not entirely sure what you mean, but thank you nonetheless.
Donovan Callahan - Sexiest Vampire N/A.
Samuel Barker - Sexiest Demon N/A.
Zachariah Novak - Sexiest Werewolf N/A.
Jesse Nascimento - Sexiest Samsa N/A.


give me the dick