Author Topic: My story part 1:The beginning  (Read 481 times)

Offline Ahmed_Abdelaziz

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My story part 1:The beginning
« on: August 06, 2016, 10:26:54 PM »
Hello.
My name is Ahmed Abdelaziz and this is my story:
When I was a 8 years old kid my mom died.
2 years later we went to live with a millionaire.
My dad was working as a servant for him.
he had 3 kids,a wife and a sister
My dad was a special servant,he looked like a superstar and they used to do alot of work together.
once upon a time his sister came to visit them with her daughter Sarah.
She was talking with his wife,they really loved each other.
His sister asked her if she can lend her some money becuase they were very low on money,And I was standing behind the curtain  listening to them.
She gave her the money but her daughter saw me.
so I just ran off but she followed me.
then I entered Michelle's room,his little daughter.
I got tackled from the carpet.
I removed the carpet from the ground then I found a secret door.
I went inside,It was an underground tunnel.
Then it took me to the gardener cabin,I went back to the room and closed the door.
12 AM:
I was going to my room to sleep with y dad.
Je wasn't here but I found a big red bag.
I opened it and I found a white matter.
It was like powder and It was filled of it inaide some small bags.
I closed the bag then my dad catched me.
""What are you doing?!"" He surprisely said.
I told him what happened then I apologized
""It's ok just don't touch this bag again""
3AM:daybreak
I woke up becuase I heard some foot steps.
It was my dad but he didn't notice me.
I saw some men grabbing my dad and punching him.
They mad him unconscious then they took him with the bag,I sneaked behind them and followed them.
They took him to Mr.Ocean The millionaire.
""Put him in the back and put the bag in the trunk"" Ocean said.
His men have putten the bag inside but they didn't close the trunk will.
When they got inside I quickly went to the trunk and opened it,Then I got inside and closed the trunk.
The car went to an abandoned factory,T hey took my dad and they standed behind the factory.
""I didn't mean to betray you I swear!"" my dad says
""Oh really?"" ocean says.
ocean sends a punch to my dad then he takes out a Beretta and aims at my dad
""No please! who's going to take care of my son?"" dad says
""God will."" ocean says
ocean shots my dad 3 times in his chest
I saw him and I got paralysed,then I went unconscious.

To be continued

note:There might be mistakes becuase Iam typing from my phone.


""
« Last Edit: August 08, 2016, 01:49:45 PM by Ahmed_Abdelaziz »

Offline FewLeonTime

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Re: My story part 1.
« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2016, 01:54:29 PM »
Quote from: Holy..
My name is Ahmed and Iam not a terrorist :)
I see.
Story is okay. Keep it up. Ahmed was talking, like "wife" not "mom/mother.". He was like a narrator here and nothing more.

Offline Cody

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Re: My story part 1.
« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2016, 03:14:54 PM »
Dear Ahmed, please remove/change your current signature "My name is Ahmed and I'm not ..etc". You don't need to explain yourself. This kind of speech and statements is what gives some fucktards a chance to blabber. I'd also like to inform you that a lot of players here are Muslims, including me, and that we aren't misunderstood or persecuted by any means here. However, your statement itself distorts us. Please take that into consideration.


Aside from that, good luck with your story. Keep it up.
Leave the past behind, or it can destroy your future. Live the life for what tomorrow has to offer, not for what yesterday has taken away.



Offline Explosively Savage Arrow

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Re: My story part 1.
« Reply #3 on: August 07, 2016, 03:16:20 PM »
i enjoyed the story, have you considered writing for creepypasta? they could use an extra hand.
Quote from: hypocero
Not happening. Go have fun with your friends Bogdan and Nadler on their fail server.

Offline Monte Carlo

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Re: My story part 1.
« Reply #4 on: August 07, 2016, 04:18:51 PM »
i enjoyed the story, have you considered writing for creepypasta? they could use an extra hand.

Are you trying to mock him?
hey xero liek teh ban? ? ?

Offline Ahmed_Abdelaziz

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Re: My story part 1.
« Reply #5 on: August 07, 2016, 05:38:15 PM »
i enjoyed the story, have you considered writing for creepypasta? they could use an extra hand.
I don't even know who is creepypasta

Offline Ahmed_Abdelaziz

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Re: My story part 1.
« Reply #6 on: August 07, 2016, 05:38:46 PM »
Dear Ahmed, please remove/change your current signature "My name is Ahmed and I'm not ..etc". You don't need to explain yourself. This kind of speech and statements is what gives some fucktards a chance to blabber. I'd also like to inform you that a lot of players here are Muslims, including me, and that we aren't misunderstood or persecuted by any means here. However, your  statement itself distorts us. Please take that into consideration.


Aside from that, good luck with your story. Keep it up.
Done.